What lies behind the smiling photos and the family highlight reels?
Are you truly happy?
I’m going to share an uncomfortable place that I found myself in one day and how I climbed out of it – it’s not all fabulous events, bubbles and fun over here, I am just like you. Being a Mum in Business can take its toll on us.
I couldn’t shake it. Why did I feel this way?
For a long time, I thought being a Mum in Business was the best thing since sliced bread (actually I am keeping away from bread at the moment, let’s say gin and tonic with lemon?) I felt like I could have the best of both worlds, call the shots, be flexible for school events, have days off when I wanted them, work 10 hours and be paid for forty…
Hell to the no, right?
For a while, I ticked off most of these things yet, I was in a hobby stage of business. Then things got real. I suddenly had contractors to pay, provisional tax, GST, bookkeeping bills, to contribute to food on the table, stacks of bills and more responsibility now than ever.
Business. There were days last year that I wanted to throw in the towel. I wanted to walk away from what I had created, yet didn’t know how. I felt trapped. The heart of it all had dropped out for a while. I wanted to be a stay at home and grow vegetables again… clean my house and shed some responsibility to so many. Deep down I knew this not to be my truth, but these were the stories filling my mind. I wanted to hide under the covers as anxiety knocked at my door again and the feelings of healthy control seemed to slide through my fingers feeling like I was failing everyone.
I had given up exercise because I had no time to fit this in. I would cry sometimes as I mourned my healthy body before kids, all I saw was a jelly belly and growing wing arms. My attention to health and lifestyle had dried up and I threw myself deeper into work with a give up attitude. To many distractions when trying to shop, so I made bad choices. Fussy eaters, the dislike of cooking, we were in the convenient cycle. Every day I would eat and drink what I liked as I felt no hope for a better routine. I’d given up.
These were the natural business implications, I thought…. as the saying goes, something had to give.
I had given up friends. No time to exercise, then no time to friend, right?
How could I go out for a coffee when I had so much to do? How could I take that time out from the never-ending to-do list?Months even years would pass and I hadn’t seen the most special people in my life, not even for a 10 minute catch up. There was a big hole missing here and it made things worse as I relied on my other half to pour out my girl soul too.
We. Need. Our. Girlfriends!
Life had got so busy, for everyone.
My husband and I hardly talked. We would use the calendar or text to communicate. Not because we hated each other but because as soon as we would start a conversation, we were interrupted by little people, day after day. So we gave up. Tiredness was the killer and at the end of the day after serving the children and clients I had nothing left to give. We spiraled down a tube of unhealthy silence. Going to bed at different times and staring at our screens while we tried to talk to each other. I knew it wasn’t healthy but we were stuck. I loved this man yet we were more like workmates juggling childcare responsibilities.
How did we get here? How do we get out?
The kids would ask me to put the computer down. They missed how we played, they wanted an extra trip to the beach when my energy was zero. I had stayed up all night to reply to emails and another day at home was on the cards. I resorted back to easy. Uncrowded shops, online shopping and picking where I ‘showed up’. I began to get too tired to be an amazing Mummy to my kids.
Netflix and wine were my best friends, a hot shower my getaway and I bought more makeup to cover up the tired eyes.
Again, I felt trapped.
Nothing let in the tank… for anyone. I had mastered the fake smile, good makeup and highlight reel. Yet, my family would see the real me.
There was a moment when I saw this from an outsiders view, somehow. I looked down on myself and my life and realised I had BURNTOUT . I was trying to be everything to everyone and failing because of it. I was putting myself last and with no fuel in the tank I was the master of nothing. My priorities were all muddled up and I had forgotten the importance of the little things.
THE SIMPLE THINGS…
Where had it all gone? I used to know this. Time moves so fast and life gets busy. I realised that it had taken control of me and I found myself in a helpless hole. My house was not organised, I had no time for anything and I didn’t like the way I was living. It was time for change and it started in nature one particular day, along this track:
Being a mother in business did not need to play out like this. It took a few quiet walks by myself to find myself again and start the journey back to self-discovery and wellbeing. Surrounded by selected role models, good books and quite simply… mother nature, I CHOSE to change things around. This is the starting line.
Is this how you want to live your one life on this earth or, is every day a gift and are you missing the special moments?
This year, I feel a big calling to assist others feeling like this. I know how much social media rules our world and with all it’s coolness (of course!) there is also a side that takes control, no matter how disciplined we are as adults (let alone children) it’s about balance, real life connection and creating clear boundaries. I am on an exciting adventure this year to empower your family too, to walk the talk and introduce REAL LIFE again. It starts with the simple things that have now become the hard things… like logging off Facebook early every night, turning the phone off when you are driving or having no tech in the bedroom. As mothers we a juggling a circus – a beautiful, chaotic, spontaneous, energetic circus. Most of the time, we are the ring masters in the show and it’s our job to lead by example.
Therefore, I have a few fun challenges for myself this year…. and you, if you are interested?
It’s going to hard, I’m not going to lie, but we are going to take time back, laugh more and live in the moment…
Are you ready?
If my story speaks to you then please reach out and I will keep you in the loop of my personal journey and will try to guide you out of what I have been through myself. It’s important to do this right and not lose yourself in this MIB journey.
Love from a fellow Mum in Business, Pip x
p. s || We are never born ready ||